It was my birthday in May, I woke up and saw his message on my phone. He said, “Dear Doris, may you live to fulfill all your heart’s desires. It’s bad the way things ended between us. We didn’t celebrate your birthday before the worse happened. Forgive me. If you want to hang out tonight, I will be here for you.” I read the message and asked myself, “Where did I sleep that this boy is messaging me?” I read the message again to be sure it was coming from him. When I was done, I put the phone down and went on with my life. Later in the day, he sent another text. “I want to make a reservation for us. Should I?” Again, I read the message and didn’t respond. It was around 6pm when he called. When I picked up, he said, “Eiii, so you hate me so much that you won’t even respond to my messages?” I said, “I don’t hate you. I can’t hate people. If I did, I wouldn’t pick your call in the first place.”
He said, “I’m trying to make it up to you on your birthday and nothing else. I remember how you made mine memorable. I want to reciprocate.” I told him, “I had a reason to do what I did on your birthday. If I may ask, what’s your reason for doing what you intend to do?” He said, “Just to pay back. Just to have some space to officially apologize for what happened. Just to be closer to you and be sure that everything is right between us.” I said, “Well, you don’t have to do anything. I’m well over it. If you didn’t call or text, I wouldn’t have remembered that someone like you exists. It’s ok. I’m fine.” He said, “No you’re not fine. If you are, you would have accepted my offer.” I said, “I have so many offers like that. I can only choose one and I’ve chosen already.” He said, “Is that a nice way of telling me that you’re going out with someone else?” I said, “Take it as you may but thanks for everything.”
From that day on, I observed a well-orchestrated attempt to sneak into my life. I stopped picking his calls. I didn’t respond to his messages though he sent a new one each morning. One morning, I heard a knock on my door. It was a week after my birthday. He came holding a package in his hands. He said, “If the mountain will not come to Mahomet, Mahomet must go to the mountain.” I asked him, “What does that mean?” He said, “Abi you won’t come for them so I decided to pass by and give them to you.” I collected what he brought. I said thank you. He said, “Won’t you give me a seat?” I said, “My boyfriend is around. I don’t think he’ll be happy to see you here.”
Maybe it’s the way I said it. He didn’t believe me. He said he wanted to exchange greetings with my boyfriend. I said, “Do you want to break up my relationship? Why are you trying to be my devil? How did I come to your mind and why are you suddenly all over me?” He said, “If you give me some time, I will explain.”
We sat in front of my door. I asked him to explain and he said, “I’ve had a lot of time to think about how things ended between us. It wasn’t the best. I acted stupidly. I believe there was a better way to solve this but I allowed emotions to cloud my judgment. I’m not asking you to start anything with me. I’m only asking you to forgive me. Let’s be friends again. Is it too much to ask?” That was also an opportunity for me to ask the question I didn’t get the opportunity to ask. I asked, “So it ended the way it ended all because I didn’t flush? Just be honest with me.” He said we shouldn’t talk about it because it belongs to our past. I said I wanted to know because I’ve been thinking about it. “It got me sick. I thought there was more to it than just that issue. So I want to know. If you want us to be friends then you should tell me.”
He said a lot of things that didn’t make sense. The most important thing was that he confirmed everything happened because I didn’t flush. I said my thanks and asked him to leave me alone. When he called again the next morning, I didn’t pick. When his call ended, I blocked his line and blocked him on Whatsapp too. I didn’t hear from him for days. Maybe he tried calling and realized I’d blocked him. One morning I saw a strange number calling. I picked it up and the voice that greeted me was the voice of an old woman. She asked, “Am I talking to Doris?” I said, “Yes you’re talking to Doris.”
She asked about my health and I responded. She asked about my work and again I responded. I asked, “May I know who I’m talking to? She said, “Oh this is the mother of your sweetheart ooo, have you forgotten about me so soon?” I got it. Her voice became clearer and I remembered the day I met her. There was nothing I could do but to be nice. She said, “Your sweetheart is here. He’s telling me you’ve had a small fight and because of that, you don’t want to talk to him again.” I felt very embarrassed. This is a woman I’ve met only once. So I lied, “Mom it’s not like that ooo. We are two adults so we will find a way to resolve it. Don’t worry at all.” She said, “He’s worried. He has tasked me to intercede for him. He’s here with me, can you please talk to him?”
He said, “Hello, don’t you see I’ve regretted my actions? I’ve never done that in my life—to involve my mother in my love issues but you, I’ll go every length to get this issue resolved.” I said, “Let’s talk when you come around.” He said, “Then please unblock my number.” I said, “I have.” His mother took the phone again. She said, “It’s all about forgiveness ooo my daughter. You forgive today so tomorrow he too will forgive. That’s the only way to build a sustainable relationship. Anything else will fail.”
When the call ended, I blocked him again and blocked his mother too. I said to myself, “Common flush I did not flush, your son treated me like I’ve murdered his family member. Forgive him? Who knows what next he will do?”
He came home again. I warned him, “The next time you come here again, I will take it as you’re intentionally trying to ruin my relationship with my boyfriend. I will involve the police or I will be forced to do something to embarrass you.” I slammed my door, looked through the window to see him shuffling off like a disappointed lover.
I will forgive so many things but not the man who treated me like trash just because of one single mistake. I never wronged him during our relationship. Everything was fine so even if he didn’t like what happened, he could have talked about it but he didn’t. He rather chose to ghost me. That, I can’t forgive him.