I never engaged with people who sent me messages on Facebook until this guy came in. He was persistent. He will send a message, I will read and not respond but it didn’t stop him from coming. A lot of blue ticks to his messages without response, yet he kept sending messages every day. One day I got curious. I said, “Let me find out what this guy really wants from me.” I responded to his messages and a conversation started. We talked every day to a point I started looking forward to his messages when I wake up.
Weeks turned into months and the likeness I harbored in my heart turned into love. We started dating and If you ask me who a caring man is, I would not think twice before I show you a picture of my man. He was the epitome of a kind and loving boyfriend.
Nine months later, he asked me to be his wife. I am a final-year student and my career path is quite demanding. To accept his marriage proposal, I had to think a lot about everything happening in my life and see if it was right for me to commit. I wasn’t going to say no, it wasn’t an option. I didn’t say yes immediately too because I needed to know he understood what he was asking us to commit to. Regarding the typical checks a lady would do before accepting a marriage proposal, I had done it and he ticked all the boxes.
Religious, check. Handsome, check. Financial stability…well, he wasn’t working. He told me he resigned from his work a while ago but he had people who worked for him on the sides and generate a considerable amount for him every day. I don’t know what kind of work it is but it’s enough for him to spoil me and my potential family. I guess it will suffice, so, stability, check.
In a bid to convince me to say yes to his marriage proposal, he began to enumerate his plans for us; “After we get married, we will move to my 3-bedroom apartment where you will have one bedroom and I will have one for myself too.” I didn’t hear a word after those words roll off his tongue. “Separate bedrooms?” I asked. I was shocked because the idea was so foreign to me. Why would a man marry a woman just so she can sleep in a different room? “Yes, different rooms,” he answered. “One for you and one for me.” “But why do you want to marry me only to put me in a room separate from yours?” I asked. “Oh, don’t be archaic. All the rich people in our society now live like this. We are married but we still can maintain our individuality. A little privacy won’t hurt anyone,” he said and quickly added, “Besides, I will be praying in my room at midnight and you know I’m a Muslim. When I’m praying, you’re not supposed to be there to cause distractions.
I protested. I told him I wouldn’t like to live with my husband that way; “We belong together so we have to live in the same room.” He called me inconsiderate. He said, “I have accepted everything you brought into this relationship. I don’t like my woman to work night shifts but you said your work will demand that you work night shifts. I’ve accepted that one so why can’t you accept mine? If you can’t accept the fact that we have to be in separate bedrooms then maybe we should rethink this relationship.”
He stormed off after telling me that.
He has since not spoken to me and it’s beginning to feel like I have lost him for good. He won’t reply to my text messages after reading them. He won’t also pick my calls. I’m worried that he’s not talking to me but I’m more worried about his demands for separate bedrooms. I can’t picture myself sleeping in a room different from my husband’s. What will we do when we fight? Reconcile from across the rooms? When I desire my husband, I would have to go and knock on his door and hope it’s not locked? I want to know, are there couples here who live like that? How’s married life for those couples who live like that?
I don’t know what I should do now. Please advise. Or I should gather the courage and walk out of the relationship? Please tell me something before I make the wrong move.