I have heard many people say on several occasions how badly they wanted their exes back but unfortunately, they do not know what to do to get them back.
Many also say, they are willing to kill to win back their exes but they are also afraid of being caught up with the law. Yes, it’s very true once you kill you would be jailed because everyone has the right to live.
Often people ask, ‘what can I do to win her or him back because I really love him or her and I don’t want to let him or her go’? People have also said they can’t live without them (exes) because they have shared some wonderful moments together with their exes that make them miss them a lot; hence the reason why they are unable to get over them even after a break.
GhanaWeb’s Amos Ekow Coffie has been researching this topic and has come up with this report.
There are many people who would want to go back to their exes no matter the circumstances in which they broke up but have you also thought about moving on? Well, not many can easily move on and get over their past. Some take almost about a year or more to get over their past depending on the degree of heartbreak.
Statistics show that about 80% of people don’t actually get over their exes easily after they break up because they actually committed themselves more in the relationship while they were together.
Guess what? Your ex wanted to break up with you because he/she thinks that something is wrong in your relationship. That’s it’s not going to work out.
Well, at least, your ex thinks that you’re not worth the effort. Sorry to break it to you, but that’s the hard truth.
Counsellors have always advised that people need to start loving themselves before others can love them. You need to make your ex feel that you love yourself. If you love yourself, people will love you, including your ex.
So here’s what you have to do:
1. Don’t contact your ex
Your ex would think he/she is the best person for you. This act just confirms to your ex that you are not that good, nobody else wants you, and it just confirms to your ex it’s right to have left you. People have done that before. It ended up in 2 tragedies: (a) ex didn’t pick up the call/didn’t reply to their message (b) ex telling them again we’ll never get back together. That must hurt a lot I guess? The more reason you shouldn’t call them.
2. Don’t post negativity on social media
First, your acquaintances will unfollow you and seeing the negativity, they won’t even want to go near you or introduce new people to you. Second, new friends will all know that you’re sad and don’t want to know you more or else they’ll get infected with your sadness. Third, for the friends who care about you, you can just go the traditional way and meet up with them and cry your eyes out. It’s really not the best to get more attention by being negative. No one likes to give that kind of attention.
3. Don’t hurt yourself
Why are you hurting yourself for someone who doesn’t care? You don’t have to do that, the person is gone already, they are not hurting but you are busy hurting yourself, why? Some people even go to the extent of forming new habits like smoking, drinking alcohol and destroying everything around them. You do not have to do that.
4. Don’t just get into relationships easily
I know you feel hurt and you probably feel worthless right now because it feels like your ex doesn’t want you. You are eager to feel loved and hopefully ‘My ex will know that I’m in another relationship and my ex will feel jealous and will beg to come back.’ STOP. That’s not self-love. That’s called “my-ex-is-still-the-centre-of-my-universe”. Everything you do is because you want to get your ex back. But actually, everything you do from now on, should be focused on yourself. It may seem like they’re contradictory — To get your ex back by not trying to get him/her back. That’s exactly the point. That’s what makes us human. You always want what you don’t get. And you always want what you think is good for you. So how can you make yourself better? You can start from appearance (new haircut, new clothes, get some muscles, eat healthier, etc) and a good attitude/be open-minded. Upgrade yourself with your outer appearance and inner attitude. Be the best version of yourself.
5. Go out with friends and meet new people
Go out with friends; go to the beach and cinemas to watch movies. Make sure to have fun, meet new people out of your usual circles. Try doing something you have never than before, make yourself happy and make the best out of the time you spend with your friends out.
6. Start doing something that’s been on the Back-burner
You need to have to courage to do what you love. That’s the most important point to love yourself. For example, if you’ve always wanted to try biking or going to the cinemas, then start learning it or doing it. If you wanted to start a business, it’s time to start learning how to do that and surround yourself with people who are doing the same. If you always wanted to go back to your high school or university and visit your favourite teacher or lecturer, it’s time to do that. If you wanted to try that new restaurant and want to do a pedicure, go do it. This is the time where you just have to care about yourself.
7. Take pictures
When you go out or have new experiences, take pictures of your new and improved appearance. When you’re doing your favourite things, take a picture. You can also take pictures with your friends. Be happy. Then post on social media like Instagram or Facebook. This will help you attract new friends too! Your ex may or may not see these photos. Who cares? You’re enjoying yourself and you will attract more like-minded people. But please don’t post too much. Posting once every two days is a good amount to not annoy others while showing your amazing life.
While you are doing all these, don’t even try to think about your ex or what he/she would like. Do what You like. Be the best version of yourself.
I won’t be surprised if your ex starts contacting you again in whichever way. Most of them do. And when he/she contacts you again, just treat them like an acquaintance, never treat them like an ex. Be nice. If you don’t feel that you’re ready to speak to him/her, then just ignore it. If they ask to meet, don’t do that because although you look all healed.
Don’t just start the relationship again after only a few calls/contact. After all, your value is much higher now. Your ex is just another pursuer. Let them wait a while and take as much time as you want to evaluate the person again before you get back.