It’s been a tough couple of years in more ways than one.
With gyms only having reopened last week in the UK, many former fitness enthusiasts have had to carve a few extra notches on the old belt and now face a tough time getting back into peak physical condition.
If the idea (and embarrassment) of returning to the gym looking – shall we say – ‘less than ripped’ fills you with dread, as indeed it does me, then read on, there just might be a solution inbound.
Among other retailers, Taobao now sells half and full-body muscle suits, complete with chiselled abs and perky pecs.
If purchased, the suit, made of 100 percent medical-grade silicone, will enable anyone to waddle back into the Life Centre looking like Cristiano Ronaldo’s body-double.
The suits are available as full or half-body accessories, meaning most British males can continue to look like gorillas on stilts by simply purchasing the upper-body suit. For the full makeover, featuring Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson-esque lats and quads, savvy shoppers will have to take the extra financial plunge and go full-body.
The suit is selling online for anywhere between £250-450, which might seem expensive, but think of all the money you’d save on protein shakes, running shoes and platinum gym membership cards – it’s a no-brainer if you ask me!
That being said, one possible drawback of Taobao’s new muscle suit is what happens to all the sweat?
With the British summer rapidly approaching, and with beer gardens nationwide expected to be absolutely heaving for possibly the rest of eternity, perspiration within the confines of the suit is likely to be a squelchy and stinky affair.
Hopefully the suit comes with some sort of ankle zip that you can just open and release the body juices, or, better yet, some kind of colostomy bag for sweat.
Or, there’s always the gym. It’s totally up to you.